The Most Important Key to a Child’s Success
Pretty much every parent wants their children to succeed in life. When talking about teaching kids to be successful, parents often want to jump right to tactical issues like chores, homework, respect, and obedience. These are important issues, and we’ve written about them elsewhere. But they are not the most important. The most important — more […]
What Happens When We Approach Our Kids with an Empty Tank
Sometimes, especially when we’re stressed and our tank is on empty, it’s easy to approach kids with our needs instead of a full heart. We demand the good behavior that “fills our tank” instead of filling them with our love. (I certainly remember doing that!) It can look like paper-thin tolerance or hair-trigger frustration as […]
How I Avoided a Full-Blown Affair
How I Responded When My Spouse Confessed Attraction for Someone Else
Since our engagement Jim and I established we would not hide things or keep secrets in our marriage. It’s easier said, in nice marriage vows, than actually done – but in our young lives we’d already seen the power of secrets to grow like cancer in relationships. With this in mind, from the beginning, we […]
Don’t Get Busted by Your Kids: Watch, Ask, and Listen!
A mother of five told us that her older children once “busted” her and her husband with an insightful observation: “We know you’re not listening when you say, ‘Wow, that’s great!’” The children were able to discern that the parents were really not listening or observing very closely. Fortunately, they could state their disappointment aloud […]
Should My Kid Get a Participation Trophy Just for Showing Up?
One former NFL player, James Harrison, sent out an Instagram message regarding his two sons receiving “participation trophies” even though they didn’t win anything. Harrison, the youngest of 14 kids and a two-time Super Bowl winner himself, struck a chord with many who believe that trophies should be given to those who “earned” them and not […]
“It was hard to be mad when you were so kind to me.”
Think of a common conflict with your child. What are some ways you could empathize with the frustration or anger your child is feeling? (Here are some suggestions!) Make a plan for how to stay calm (or to get calm) the next time you and your child butt heads. (If calming down is hard for […]
Want Kids to Value Your Advice? Try This.
Caroline was thoughtful as I described how our young adult kids call from time to time and ask us to help them think through a situation. “After they describe their dilemma, we usually ask them thoughtful questions to guide their thinking,” I explained. “Hmm.” Caroline thought for a moment. “Neither my husband or I […]
Why We’ll Never Stop Having Kids
Although I’m 62 and won’t be giving birth to any more children any time soon, I recently reflected that God gives us children in many ways, some biologically and some spiritually. It is a privilege to build into the lives of young people and watch God work.
How to Avoid Being Taken Hostage by Kids’ Demands
Parents sometimes feel like hostages to the intense demands of their children, intimidated into submission with the threat of “the big gun” – a deafening meltdown. One of our online course participants asked for help: Our 3 1/2 year old son often wants a specific plate or cup. So if we set him up with […]
