Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts
Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my kids are upset and I remain calm, I visualize myself “loaning” my calm to them […]
How do I keep from favoring one child over the others?
We received the following question from a parent: Q: What can I do to not show favoritism even when in some sense, certain kids really are my favorites? The favoring of one child over others is common. Sociologists tell us that 65-70% of parents demonstrate favoritism. The reality is that people are wired differently and are […]
Affirmation: The Struggle to Stay Positive [video]
“Stay positive.” It’s almost a cliche at this point. But the parenting truth behind this oft-spoken statement is that kids need constructive affirmation and encouragement from their parents. This might sound simple — but sometimes, affirming our kids can be really hard!
I Can’t Believe My 7-Year-Old Asked That!
I’ll never forget the day our firstborn came home in the fall of second grade with his right index finger moving back and forth through the circle he’d made with his left thumb and forefinger. “What’s this mean, daddy? The boys on the bus were laughing about it.” I couldn’t believe I was already […]
How to Turn Mischief into an Opportunity to Build Wisdom
Becky and her two daughters, six-year-old Brianna and four-year-old Maisie, were at a playdate. The girls were downstairs with an older girl who was bit of a mischievous spitfire. Maisie came up and Becky noticed immediately that her hair had been cut.
Teaching Kids True Repentance [video]
When kids make a mistake, especially when they hurt others, most parents would agree that it’s important to learn repentance — for kids to feel sorry for what they’ve done. But in our pursuit of this goal, many parents settle for the appearance of repentance — a quick and skin-deep “Sorry.” This approach does NOT […]
One Mom’s Journey from Fighting to Dancing
Julia was fed up. Her kids fought daily about their responsibilities, and Julia was at the end of her patience. Daily power struggles were beginning to define their relationships as the kids grew more discouraged and Julia more determined to stop the “misbehavior.” So Julia came to us for help.
Practical Ways to Connect in the Middle of Discipline [video]
Parents often think about how to connect with their children — but what we don’t always realize is that parents can connect even when children are misbehaving! (In fact, sometimes the middle of misbehavior is the most powerful time to connect.) If you haven’t already, check out our piece about the importance and power of […]
Don’t stuff your kids’ feelings
Kids usually do the best they know how to express their feelings. The best they can do is usually quite immature and unrefined. A problem occurs when, instead of validating our kids’ best efforts to express their feelings, we minimize, invalidate, or even punish their expression.
Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by the teen years (probably earlier than that). When we take control of our kids’ lives […]
